I glared at the football players, wishing the earth would swallow them up and crush them all beneath mounds of gravel.
"On the positive side, it's good he didn't call. That way you didn't have to tell him you couldn't go," Frances said.
I can't believe he didn't call. "He probably called right after we left the house tonight."
"If he waited until that late to call, then he doesn't deserve to have you home," Allie said.
"I can't believe my mom made me leave my cell phone at home."
"She does have a point," Natalie said. "The only people you're allowed to call is your family, and everyone is here."
"That's not why she made me leave it at home." I couldn't believe what a bad mood I was in. "You told her you were guarding the phone in case Heath called. So she knew I'd give the number to him."
Natalie fell silent and I felt her look at me. "Don't get mad at me, Blue. I'm not the reason Heath didn't call, and it's not my fault you couldn't go out with him tonight."
"It's your fault I couldn't bring my phone tonight. Heath probably left me six messages trying to find me. And now he'll think I don't like him." I folded my arms across my chest and tried to shoot poison daggers out of my eyes at the world.
"It's not my fault," Natalie repeated.
I couldn't deal with this discussion. "I'm going for popcorn. I'll be back." I didn't even offer to get anyone anything.
Was I in a bad mood or what? I couldn't believe Heath didn't call. He'd totally said he'd call. I sat home every night this week, threatening everyone in my family to stay off the phone, and to no avail. He simply didn't call.
I'd ruined everything.
The only solution to make myself feel better?
Eat.
I skipped the popcorn stand and headed straight for the soft serve ice cream. Double chocolate was all that would satisfy. With any luck, it would all go straight to my boobs and I'd wake up tomorrow with a woman's figure.
Yeah, right.
I got in line behind a couple that was being way too lovey for my taste. Even my blackest scowl didn't deter them, so I folded my arms across my chest and stared out at the crowds so I wouldn't have to look at them and think about how I was supposed to be out with the man of my dreams tonight.
And that's when I saw him.
Heath.
Walking toward me.
With his arm around a girl.
My stomach turned to lead, my toes curled and a lump settled in my throat.
He was on a date with another girl.
Unbelievable.
How stupid could I be?
As I bit my lower lip to keep from crying, I could almost feel the wind blowing through my hair as I peered out over the edge of The Ledge at all the headlights below. Would I notice when I lost my spleen? Was it a necessary organ? Would the tread marks be permanent, or would they fade with a good scrubbing?
Allie was certainly right. The Ledge was no place for a girl. With all the coaching I'd gotten on the subject, how in the world had I let myself end up on out there, hanging by my fingernails?
"Blue?"
I jerked around, hoping it was Heath, abandoning his date as soon as he noticed me. But it was Colin.
Colin!
Oh my gosh. How totally embarrassing. I hadn't seen him since The Kiss. What was I supposed to do? How was I supposed to act? I'd totally avoided the barn all week, and I'd thought I was safe.
"Blue! How are you?" He caught up to me and settled in beside me, as if he was going to wait in line with me.
It was a very long line.
"Um... Hi." I shifted and tried not to look at him.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"Then why are you staring at my sneakers?"
"I'm not."
"Then you're staring at all the bubble gum stuck to the cement floor? I'm so flattered that's more interesting than looking at me."
Jerk. Why did he have to be so demanding? I dragged my eyes off the ground and sort of looked at his face. He smiled. And I couldn't help but smile back, and suddenly all the awkwardness was gone. It would be fine. "Hi, Colin. It's good to see you."
And it was. A boy who wouldn't put me on The Ledge.
"You okay? You were looking kinda sad."
Oh, great. If Colin noticed I'd been on The Ledge, then Heath definitely would have too. "I stubbed my toe and it hurt. A lot."
He lifted an eyebrow. "Did you really?"
"Yes." I could tell he didn't believe me, and for a moment, that felt good. With Colin, I didn't have to pretend I was someone I wasn't, partially because he could tell when I was lying, and partially because I wasn't trying to impress him. After all, he'd taught me how to kiss. How much more personal can you get?
"So... how's Heath? Was he impressed with your... talents?"
I felt my cheeks heat up. "Um... I... um... haven't..."
"You haven't kissed him yet?" Colin was looking pretty intently at me.
"No."
"Why not?"
"I haven't had the opportunity."
"Uh huh. So it's not that you shut him down again?"
Why did Colin care? "I don't plan to say No."
Colin nodded slightly, but he looked a little annoyed. "Well, you'd better plan to say No at some point with him or you'll find yourself in..."
"In what?"
"In a situation you don't want to be in."
"How do you know what situation I want to be in?"
Colin met my gaze. "Because I know you."
"Oh." He seemed awfully certain, and I didn't really feel like challenging him.
"Did you come here with Heath?"
Why was Colin obsessing about Heath? "No. I came with my friends and my family." Oh, smooth, Blue. Doesn't that make me sound like a suave and sophisticated diva? Not. Made me sound like a loser who spent Friday nights with her family. Once again, it was a good thing I wasn't trying to impress Colin. He somehow managed to see the real me all the time. I was definitely going to have to work on that. It was no way to attract boys.
"Well, I think you're about to have to your chance to wow him with your talents because he's on his way over here."
"He is?" I almost whirled around to find Heath, then stopped myself. What was I doing? He'd put me on The Ledge. He didn't deserve my attention. Colin was the one who'd come up to me and was being nice to me. So I turned my back in the direction Colin had been looking. "So what? I'm talking to you."
Colin lifted his eyebrow, then narrowed his eyes. "What game are you playing, Blue?"
"I'm not playing a game. I just... well... we were supposed to have a date tonight and he never called, so I'm mad at him. I don't want him to think I..." Think what? That I was madly in love with him and would do anything for him?
"Ah." Colin looked over my shoulder, then looked back at me. "Want some help making him feel bad for missing out on a date with you?"
Help making Heath feel bad? "Sure."
Colin nodded, then slung his arm around my shoulders and pulled me up against his side. "Pretend you like me."
"I do like you." I fit just perfectly under his arm.
Something flitted across his face. "Pretend you like me the way you like Heath."
"Oh..."
"Put your arm around me," he muttered.
"Right." Was I an idiot or what? It's a good thing I wasn't trying to impress Colin or I'd have no chance with him. I tentatively snuck my arm around his waist, and I could feel him suck in his breath as my hand settled around his waist. How intimate was this? It was actually sort of cool. I felt safe. Like I belonged to someone. Like if anyone tried to come after me, Colin would be a force field around me to protect me. "Like this?"
"Yeah." His voice sounded a little strangled. "Smile at me."
I looked up at him, and found him looking down at me. His eyes had this weird soft of glow, like he was looking at a puppy or something that made him feel all good inside. I smiled. "Thanks, Colin."
He grinned, and for the first time, I noticed that he had a little dimple in his right cheek. "I'm having fun."
"Me too." It then that I noticed that Colin smelled good too. It was different than Heath's-a little more subtle and less showy, but very appealing. And... he had some shadow on his cheeks too. "You shave?"
He looked surprised. "Of course."
"Can I touch?" I immediately wished I could be sucked into the ground. What a completely stupid comment. "I mean... I always wondered if it felt rough."
Colin shrugged. "Go ahead."
"Really?"
"Just do it."
"Nevermind." This was too embarrassing. I mean, it was one thing to admit to a guy that you'd never kissed anyone before, but it was something else to be letting all your secrets out.
Colin rolled his eyes, then grabbed my hand and pressed my fingers against his jaw.
It was rough, almost prickly. "Huh." He let go of my wrist, and I rubbed my fingertips over his skin. "It's rough in one direction and smooth in the other."
"Uh huh." He had that weird strangled sound in his voice again.
"It's cool." I dropped my hand. No longer was I a bumbling freshman. I was becoming more of a woman by the minute. "Thanks."
Colin looked down at me and met my eyes. "You're welcome."
I smiled. "For a boy, you're a pretty nice guy."
"What's your real name?"
I caught my breath. I never told anyone my real name. It was too embarrassing. But... this was Colin. He'd taught me how to kiss and knew I was out with my family on Friday night. It was actually sort of nice that there was someone out there besides my friends who I could be myself with. "Blueberry."
He grinned. "Really?"
"Horrible, isn't it?"
Colin shook his head. "I think it's perfect." His voice was soft, almost tender, and he touched my cheek with his hand.
I caught my breath. He almost had that look on his face, the one Heath had had right before he'd tried to kiss me. My stomach did a little jiggle and I caught my breath.
Was Colin going to kiss me? In public? For a moment, I really, really hoped so. Kissing him was magical... I lifted my face and...
"Blue!" Heath's voice slammed into our moment. "Blue, is that you?"
Colin's face darkened, and he looked up, over my shoulder. "Hi, Heath."
"Bradshaw," Heath said. "You here with Blue?"
I twisted around so I could see Heath, and Colin dropped his arm from my shoulder. "Hi, Heath."
"Hey." Heath looked right at me, gave me one of those special smiles that made my stomach turn to goo. "I tried to call you this week, but I think you must have given me the wrong number. I kept getting some pizza place."
Colin snorted and folded his arms across his chest. Heath immediately glared at him before turning back to me. "Anyway, Blue. Are you free tomorrow night?"
"Tomorrow?" Oh my gosh. Tomorrow? I had so little time to panic. "Sure."
Heath grinned. "Great. I'll pick you up at seven."
"How do you know where I live?" Didn't he have to call me or something?
"You're in the phone book, aren't you?"
"Oh. Right. Yes."
Heath nodded. "See you then." He jerked his head at Colin. "Later."
Colin muttered something back and Heath left. And I didn't see the girl with him anymore.
Huh.
Interesting.
I had to tell my friends about the encounter. My most horrible evening had suddenly catapulted into ecstasy. "I'll see you around." I abandoned my quest for ice cream and turned to leave, only to be halted by Colin's hand on my arm.
"He's lying."
I looked at Colin. "What?"
"He didn't call. The pizza place line? It's old."
Some of my elation faded. "What are you talking about?"
"And if he can find your address up in the phone book, why couldn't he look up your phone number?"
I felt my shoulders sag. "Why are you doing this?"
"Doing what?"
"Trying to take away my good mood."
"I'm just trying to keep you from falling for him."
"Is that right?" I folded my arms across my chest. "And what's wrong with Heath?"
"He lies."
"Give me a break, Colin. I just got my cell phone two days before. I'm sure I wrote down the wrong number."
Colin shook his head and let his hand drop from my arm. "He's an idiot, Blue. Just ask Theo."
"Theo says he's a good guy. Plays basketball."
"And that makes him a good guy?"
"Well, it doesn't make him a bad guy." My stomach was starting to congeal into a hard little lump. I wasn't used to Colin being a jerk. "What's wrong with you?"
"Me? Nothing. Are you going out with Heath tomorrow?"
"Of course I am." How could I not? It was the best moment of my high school career.
"Well, have fun. And bring some pepper spray."
"Why would I need pepper spray? Maybe I want him to kiss me."
Colin just gave me an annoyed look and walked away. Without saying good-bye! Why had he turned into such a grouch? I don't know why girls have the reputation of being moody. Boys are definitely a whole lot worse.
But Colin wasn't my problem.
I had a date.
With Heath.
Tomorrow.
I skipped all the way back to my seat.
